Good evening my friends,
It has been an interesting day for me. You see my job allows my brain quite a bit of time to wander (and still get my job done quickly and efficiently) and today I got stuck on the thought "What am I doing with my life?" Sure I'm working and 'doing life' but what am I doing to make a difference and make an impact for the Kingdom? I certainly don't feel like I am sitting on my hands but you see I have this problem... I tend to compare myself to others. Try to 'Keep up with the Jones' if you will. I kinda get this panicky feeling and all of a sudden what I'm doing with my life is not enough. I'm not advancing my desire for photography enough, I'm not earning enough at work, I'm not pushing enough to open an Etsy store and I certainly not keeping up with my blogging like I wish I was (not to mention my home, how it's decorated, how I feed my husband and how well I clean).
Yep that's me, I let my mind wander and see where it takes me? All the way out into no man's land away from the truth that I know. The truth that Christ is my anchor and he should be the only thing I am basing my "success" on. Now, I'm not saying this to start a pity party, I have had enough of those for a life time. No, I am just noticing that even though I know the truth the enemy still tries to catch me off guard and use my desire to do good against me.
You know what? It's not working and I plan to stomp on his head for trying to turn something that God has blessed my with into a stumbling block. From here on out I am going to try and set some goals, not to keep up with the Jones' but rather to spend some time searching for what God will have me do with my next week or even month and then strive for those things. Here is a rough idea of what I want to achieve in May.
- Set out a budget and a meal plan for us and stick with it (at least 3/4 weeks of the month)
- Really dig into a bible study that I have been just "skimming" thus far. I mean it's Beth Moore for petes sake!
- Finish the book my mom loaned me OVER A YEAR AGO!
- Crochet/Knit just for fun a few pieces. (don't stress on making a store just do it to try something new and creative)
- Go out and take more walks with the Mr. To take in the lovely weather(maybe just take some fun pictures.)
- Invite at least one couple/friend/family over for dinner (just because being social is nice)
Then maybe if I remember I'll come back at the end of May and I'll review what I did and didn't achieve. My biggest goal through all of this though is to give myself realistic and Godly benchmarks that will keep me from getting in a rut but also to help me to really listen for God's leading and only hold myself to His standards, not anyone else's.
Have a great evening my dear friends, and remember the only standard we have to look to is His. "What will this compare in the light of eternity?"