Most men are waffle brains and they compartmentalize their thoughts, then most women are spaghetti brains and their thoughts are all flowing one from another and all inter-connected. Its not my principle, I just use it... It does kind of irk my husband and brothers... they take it as an insult. But they shouldn't since a man came up with it!
Anyway all of my busy every flowing thoughts today have been a bit blue and a bit tainted with worry... If you know me I am not a big fan of this. I strive to find joy everywhere. Joy is a fruit of the spirit and it's not necessarily always connected with happiness. I think that if you have Christ you have you, even if you aren't always happy, joy is everywhere sometimes you just have to look for it. I have been in that place where I blinded my heart from His joy and BOY it's a sad dark place, I don't want to be there again, so I choose joy. Enough said.
Today however I have a bit of worry that is fighting for space in my mind. I have surgery coming up bright and early tomorrow morning and even thought I have been there, done that, bought the t-shirt with hospitals I can't seem to find the peace I am seeking. I know what the bible says about worry, and I have even heard that there are more than 365 references to "fear not". Even my little devotional this morning spoke directly to me, "When you worry it clouds your ability to hear My voice."
The funny thing is I can totally relate to that physically, I seem to have the hardest time hearing in a place where there is much, white or ambient noise. If I know that its important I will actually leave the room or turn down the excess noise, so honestly I know exactly what I need to do to try and assuage this worry, turn it down and focus on my Abba. Been working on that since this morning. :)
Anyway no there's no real conclusion to my spaghetti brained thoughts today, I'm just here and anxious and fighting with all my might not to be and focus on God. I just thought I would share a bit of my heart today, thanks for listening. You always seem to be such a good listener ;)
If you don't mind tomorrow morning say a prayer for me. I would be oh so thankful.