Saturday, July 14, 2012

Dependency and why I am apparently NOT very good at it.

     Wow, you're still there? I could have sworn you would have gotten bored with my silence and left, I'm So glad you didn't. What? You mean to say there are more of you now then there were when I left! You guys are amazing! You here that world? I have 13 AH-MAZ-ING followers! 
     I have just spent the last 5 days in a rousing whirl wind of surgery, medicine and inordinate amounts of sleep. Sounds exciting, right? The one thing I can say is I must surely be caught up on a whole months worth of sleep. Which is a very good thing for this lady, I LOVE my sleep.
     Since I had surgery on my foot, it has inhibited the use of said foot and so for the last several days I have been all but laid up on the couch. Its a might good thing its a comfy couch because we have become VERY good friends. No complaints in that department but there has been on thing in all of this I have struggled with. It seems I am not a big fan of asking for help. 
     SInce I can't get up and move much, and even when I can I'm on "the crutchers" (way more fun to say it that way) it means I have to ask for help a ton. 
     Enter the grumbles ]:( . . . grumble, grumble, grumble. These grumbles are in no way a reflection on my wonderful family or my spectacular hubby but I just have an aversion to being dependent on others. I'm not sure whether it's a fear of rejection or I'm like Dwight from The office and I worry that if someone does me a favor I am going to owe them some thing... and I must never allow that! :P I just have a really hard time with sitting there not moving asking others to get me that, or help me with this, when my brain says "YOU are a perfectly capable women why don't you do it yourself!" Obviously with a bum foot, I am not totally perfectly capable but my brain doesn't seem to get that. 
     I think God really has been trying to teach me a thing or two about being humble (and submissive to my hubby when he says 'stay on that couch') and learning that it's ok to rely on others a bit. Especially when they are like my mother and wonderful mother-in-law who actually take joy in cooking and CLEANING! my home for me while I am down. It seems somewhere I heard that if I refuse that help that they are so happily giving I am actually robbing them of a blessing! WOAH, WHAT?!?! I wouldn't want to do that, ok God I get it I will try to shush my brain and learn to lean a bit. The way I see it, is we all hear all our lives to stand on out own and take care of ourselves but I think God made us dependent creatures. To depend on Him most of all, and to depend on each other. I just don't think that life would work without dependence. So from here on out I am going to work on that, learning when to keep quiet and just let God work. 
     SO I can't say I have really not been doing ANYTHING. I have been resting and healing and learning. I can also say I have some amazing blessings in the form of E, My Momma, My Mother and Father in Law and my SWEET friends Brett and Mallory.


Also Shout out to my new blog buddies Tiffanie and Bonnie! If you get a chance you should check out my other wonderful followers and their blogs too! :) 
Happy Saturday! 

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